The Road to Commitment
by JessenoSabaku
Summary: "I just ... don't know if I'm ready to raise a family." "Obviously, you aren't." One-shot, short fic. AsumaxKurenai, in an indirect way. Asuma and Shikamaru. Kurenai and Shikamaru are implied, but never mentioned by name. K rating.


**Disclaimer: Here we go with the usual rounds. I OWN NOTHING OF NARUTO. NONE OF THE ANIME OR MANGA BELONGS TO ME. THOSE RIGHTS ARE RESERVED FOR THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNERS. I AM MAKING ABSOLUTELY NO PROFIT OFF OF THIS OR ANY OF MY OTHER FANFICTION PROJECTS. IT IS PURELY FOR FUN AND WRITING CRITIQUE. If you have the money on hand, please go buy a few volumes of the manga or anime and support the author. Now that we have that out of the way, please sit back, relax, and enjoy what I have to offer.**

I would love it if you would humor me and read the introduction (though I don't think you'll miss anything important if you skip it).

INTRODUCTION: My writing has been coming along very slow lately, especially since I have multiple projects that I want to work on but either forget about or don't have time for. However, I've started this one-shot that I think I'll be able to finish fairly quickly that might be a little entertaining. Or maybe not as the case may be. Please acknowledge that there are some things that have been tweaked slightly, such as Shikamaru's age in comparison to Asuma's. Also, Asuma has not died yet in the story, which he probably already should have.

Anyway, I really love Asuma! And not just because I'm an oujicon and love scruffy men. Since I started writing Raiding His Fridge, even though almost all the characters get their moments in the spotlight, I've also desperately wanted to begin some other one-shots (or a series, I hope!) with the slightly lesser characters like Kiba, Shikamaru, Lee etc. as the main focus, Asuma being one of them. I've also always wanted to do something centered around Asuma's relationships with Kurenai and Shikamaru individually, so when I got this idea, I decided it was perfect despite the fact that they were all lumped together. I also wanted to generate a little magic in keeping Shikamaru nameless, so that you get sort of a mysterious feel. One of those life-changing events with a person you know you'll never meet again. (I'm a hopeless romantic.)

I hope you don't get completely bored with concept, though, because I kind of wonder if it really went anywhere. Maybe it's just some warm n' fuzzy crap I did for self-gratification. Anyway, RHF Chapter 9 extension coming out soon! So bear with my one-shots until it's released.

**(XXX)**

Asuma took another long drag from his cigarette, holding the smoke in his lungs for a long four seconds before letting it out through his nostrils. He hunched over the bar, shuddering as the buzz began to creep in. He traced the rim of his glass with a finger, letting the smoke make his mind hazy. All he wanted to do was drink himself silly in the hopes that he'd stumble out in front of a car, get hit and die. Or something along those lines.

He pulled his wallet out, and from it removed a nearly wafer-thin, laminated photo of a woman with long, soft dark locks, a gentle smile on her face that seemed to reach out to the viewer. Her ruby-red eyes stared deep into Asuma's heart, pulling many conflicted emotions to the surface. By now that woman's belly would be growing considerably to accommodate the soon-to-be fully developed child that was awaiting its birth deep inside the womb.

This time Asuma threw back his drink, draining as much as the half-melted ice in his cup would allow past. He called for the barkeeper with a disdainful tone. He didn't like drinking very much, especially not in large quantities, but it was the only thing calming his frayed nerves—other than the smoking, of course. The ashtray in front of him was littered with cigarette butts.

_She's going to have a baby,_ he thought. _We're not even married and she's going to have my baby._

His girlfriend had dropped that bombshell on him just a few days earlier after they had dinner together. Not only was she pregnant, but nearly three months in already. Asuma didn't know what he wanted to do. He was just an office grunt, hardly making enough to support himself. And even if he did have the money, he wasn't quite ready to make the commitment necessary to make an honest woman out of her. And the last thing he wanted was for their marriage to just be a shotgun wedding—she deserved better than that. But what if he walked away? He couldn't—his morals wouldn't allow for it. Either way, no matter what he decided to do, he'd have to make sure the mother and the baby were taken care of.

He looked down at the picture. He'd taken it on their last vacation together, a month before he got the news. After Asuma had jokingly complained that all their dates were boring restaurant dates or movie nights, his girlfriend teased him that he was the one who suggested these boring dates, and when Asuma challenged her to pick a more interesting activity, she arranged for them to go on a two-week hiking trip to the mountains. The view had been wonderful from their cozy lodge at the top of the mountain, and they spent all their time climbing, sweating, laughing, and playing in the streams snaking about the forested areas. When he took the picture, they had just finished the climb back up to the lodge after a long day of hiking, and she smiled at the camera, tired, but still somehow full of life and energy.

Just looking at her, Asuma almost felt a sense of inferiority.

The barstool next to him shifted with a creak, drawing his attention away from the photo. A head of dark hair had leaned in and peeked nosily at the picture.

"That's one fine woman," a surprisingly young male voice said in a lazy tone, not bothering to indicate whether the statement was a compliment or a sly insult.

"Yeah, she really is something," Asuma replied, admiring the woman in the photo once more.

"She your girlfriend?" the young man asked.

"No, she's my sister," Asuma lied with efficiency and a twinge of disgust. He looked over the other man as he talked, observing sharp, stern features and deep brown eyes. His lips were set in a slight frown.

"Really?" the man inquired further. "I used to know her and she never mentioned anything to me about having a brother."

For a moment, Asuma panicked. "Well, we never got along that well, so …"

"Gotcha," the man said, finally seeming to lose interest. "I'll take your word for it then."

However, Asuma's had been piqued. "How do you know her?"

"She used to be my tutor a year or so back. Came over a lot to help me with homework," was his answer, again lacking in specifics as he rested his chin on his hand.

Asuma's girlfriend was in fact a tutor, however, as he recalled she only taught high school students. He took another look at his conversational partner, noticing an even greater presence of youth. "How old are you?"

"Relax, old man, I'm legal." He called the bartender over and ordered straight whiskey. "By the way, you can drop the act. She's shown me pictures of you before—I know you're her boyfriend."

Asuma was about to argue with him, but quickly chose admission. "Fiancé," Asuma corrected with a sigh, repeating it under his breath like a mantra. "Fiancé."

"Oh, is that right? Congratulations on tying the knot, man."

"Well, I mean, I'm not really sure if I should marry her yet," Asuma said, scratching the back of his neck.

The boy's next words belied his deadpanned expression. "Yeah, women are troublesome. You don't want to just jump into a lifetime commitment with one."

"Ugh, no, it's not that!" Asuma groaned. "I'm just worried."

Asuma was only a salary-man. Sure, he had a degree in engineering, but that piece of paper was getting him nowhere, and he couldn't remember the last time he'd had a promotion. He was terrified. If he had a child, that child would look up to him, depend on him. And so would his wife, if he got married. He didn't want to disappoint them, and even more so he could not bear the shame of failing to even put food on the table and a roof over their heads. And what kind of role model was he, when he was such a coward that he was considering breaking things off with his girlfriend at the mere thought of trouble?

"We have a kid on the way. Am I going to be able to take care of them? I just … I don't know if I'm ready to raise a family."

"Obviously, you aren't," the boy scoffed, not batting an eye. He sipped his whiskey peacefully, as though he'd finally reached enlightenment.

"What do you mean, 'obviously?'" Asuma was more than a little offended by the boy's bluntness.

"Just ask yourself one question—is there an 'I' in the word 'team?'" The young man dipped his head at his senior, quirking an eyebrow. "What do you think marriage is about?"

Stumbling over that response, which was hardly understandable1, Asuma stuttered out, "W-well, I …"

"I'm not saying you don't have reason to be concerned. Most marriages fall through. But think about it—what is the theme of marriage?"

Asuma thought to himself for a moment, looking for the most accurate phrase. He hummed to himself before tentatively asserting, "Unity."

"Genius," was the dull reply, but at this point Asuma didn't feel mocked. "Yes, Unity. Which means marriage isn't about one person getting piled up with all the responsibility. Some people expect their spouses to do all the work." He then shot a pointed look at Asuma, looking him up and down with a strange look. "And then there are people like you, who expect to be the ones doing all the work. Those people have isolated themselves in their selfishness. Their hearts are unreachable even by the person they love the most. That's why they either don't get married, or when they do, they end up alone."

Sitting in cold silence, Asuma averted his eyes to stare at his fiancé's picture in his wallet. With her bright smile and her outstretched arm, waving towards the camera, he felt transported back in time to the day he took the photo. Her warm silhouette against a background of mountains, her hair was caked with sweat from a hard climb—but she still smiled. He felt like she was waving to him even now, like he had captured a drop of her very essence for safekeeping in his pocket.

"So, what have we learned today?" that calm voice beside him interrupted to ask after another sip of whiskey.

"Marriage," Asuma began quietly, then strengthened his voice after taking another look at his girlfriend's photographed face, "is about teamwork."

Clapping his hands and holding them up towards the sky, the boy's head tilted back in rapture, he said "Fantastic! Congratulations, old man! You now have all the tools you need to enter a life of wedded bliss!" He sank down in his seat quickly, leaning his elbow on the counter and his chin on his hand. "Well, you know, except for money, a big house, a nice car, and baby food."

With a sigh, Asuma bemusedly informed him, "That's what I'd been worried about from the start."

"Oh. Well, then you're screwed."

Asuma couldn't tell if this kid was already tipsy or just messing with him, but it probably didn't matter either way. He laughed and patted the young man on the shoulder. "Well, thanks anyway. You have my gratitude."

"Hey, talk is cheap," came a reply accented by a fist slamming down on the bar. "If you're really grateful, buy me a drink, old man."

"Yeah, yeah," Asuma said, rolling his eyes. He fished some money out of his still-open billfold and handed it to the bartender who refilled the stranger's glass. Asuma took one last look at the photo before hesitantly grasping both ends of his wallet and folded it shut. He didn't know what the future might hold, and the sudden prospect of being a father and a provider for a family still scared him shitless.

But he'd already decided that no photo of a good woman, no memory of a good time was better than the real thing. And no matter what troubles may come, that alone was enough.

**(XXX)**

1 The Japanese Shikamaru is using here is really weird. Partially because he's probably tipsy, but also because it's probably kind of hard to say the English phrase " 'I' in 'team'" in Japanese. This is why the narration refers to it as being difficult to understand.

Note: I am alive, I swear! But I've had so much work. Well, and I've also been lazy, but come on! Give me a break! I've finally finished this story which I started forever ago. I hope it's okay. It's very short, and a lot simpler with text and descriptions and dialogue. Maybe that will be part of its charm? Anyway, since this was already halfway done when I found it in my notebook, I felt I should finish it just to be able to say that I've begun updating again.

I don't know when the extension of RHF chap 9 will be done. I hope to do some work on it this weekend, but I imagine I won't get it done because I'll not only have to type it all out, but review it ten times before I'm satisfied. There probably won't be much direction to the chapter other than describing Iruka and Kakashi's relationship a bit more, but even then I don't wanna do too much other than reveal their pasts. I hope to finish my first Extra for RHF soon, too! So, don't give up on me yet. Hopefully art for my fanfiction will come along someday, since I'm starting to draw frequently.

Hope you enjoyed this, though. For my subscribers, thanks for sticking with me all this time! For the newcomers, please give Raiding His Fridge a read. That's my claim to fame right now.


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